Cast of Characters

(in order of appearance)


TOM LYONS formerly known as Tomaso “Tommy the Cat” Leone, born Queens, NY; in his fifties, former money launderer for the mob, shaved head and beard.

PHIL PIKE, shelter volunteer, forties, unmarried, lives with a goldfish (Bruiser). Former detective inspector Pike from East Coast.

AUDREY MERINO, shelter volunteer, seventy, has a standard poodle called Camilla who looks like Audrey.

LYNN BASSETT, shelter volunteer, thirties, short and stocky, unmarried, has two Great Danes and a three-legged cat.

DELIA WOOLF formerly known as Delia Leone, daughter of Tom, NYU graduate, twenty-one, sexy dresser, partner in crime with Tom.

WILLIAM “BULL” MCKEE, ex-convict with anger management issues.

CHERRY, Bull’s German Shepherd

CINDY, Bull’s former girlfriend

JASON, Cindy’s current boyfriend

TIM BIRD, unofficial shelter volunteer, fifteen, school drop-out, good with animals, strong work ethic, lives with mother in double-wide trailer. 5’2″, 100 lbs.


M.T., ink artist at Tattoo Confidential.

Carson Fox, former big city dermatologist, now owner of Tattoo Confidential.


Polly Bird (aka Pretty Polly), Tim Bird’s mom. Small like Tim, with slim legs and “perky” boobs.

Peter Singer, author of Animal Liberation.

Cluckers Brothers – Tyson & Purdue, owners of a large poultry farm on the outskirts of town.


Sammie, pet photographer


Dr. Connie Shepherd, a local veterinarian who gives the shelter discounts on her services.


Mrs. Cathy Cluckers, wife of Tyson, tattoo confidential customer.


Rufi, a mammal (bobcat?) in the order Carnivora, colloquially referred to as cats, and constitutes a clade.

Pino Noir, cousin of Tom from Newark, watermelon truck driver. 


Bruiser, Phil Pike’s goldfish.


Jasper, large shelter cat

Rusty, Mame, Oscar – shelter dogs